Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Everybody Out of the Pool!

I'm at the gym today and make my way to the pool to swim some laps.  When I walk into the pool area, there's one other dude that I can see, and he's on the side of the pool busy getting ready to swim a few hundred miles - I could tell by the swim cap he was wearing that he was serious about all of this. 

I get into the pool with my back to the other end of the lane in which I'm about to swim and do some stretching (so I can look like I know what I'm doing – I can’t have a dude in a swim cap mocking me either).  Just as I turned around to face the opposite end of the pool and affix my goggles, this other guy comes from out of nowhere and plops himself into the pool at the other end of THE VERY LANE IN WHICH I’M GETTING READY TO SWIM.  I’m wearing goggles for Pete’s sake!  How do I NOT look like I’m about to swim here? 

Mind you, there’s no one else in the entire pool – there are four lanes for the taking, and Swim Cap McHundredmiles has yet to wade into one of the lanes.  The interloper at the other end of the pool could have jumped into any one of the other three lanes, but he chose mine. 

Now, I’ve seen something similar to this before.  The lane in which I’m getting ready to swim is closest to the Jacuzzi, and there’s a ladder in the pool in my lane next to the Jacuzzi.  I’ve seen people pop out of the Jacuzzi and jump into the pool to cool off and then quickly exit the pool again via the ladder – I thought this was what Mr. Personal Space Invader was attempting, so I stood my ground and waited for him to exit the pool.  But he didn’t.  He proceeded to jump from foot to foot all the while staring at me from his end of MY LANE! 

I kept staring at him, wondering when he was going to finish his little exercise jig and depart.  Swim Cap turned around and noticed what was happening and looked at me.  I looked at him and said, “You can see me, right?  I’m not invisible, am I?”  At this point, I had a decision to make – which of the four options do I exercise:

1. Engage the dude at the other end of the pool in a game of Marco Polo?
2. Stealthily sidle up and pants him?
3. Get out of the pool, run along the side, and cannonball him?
4. See if he's ticklish?

What would you have done?  Let's take a poll, and then I'll tell you what I did.  


Kendall said...


KKillmer said...

Oh! Please, please, please say you chose option #2!

Jolene said...

Really, there's a choice. #2