Monday, September 27, 2010

Gettin' 'Up In' Religion

I'm "monitoring" Sam's getting-dressed-for-church progress yesterday morning. I note that he's wearing black suit pants (that he inherited from his older brother, Jack) and a white shirt (not my choice). I tell him it's time for us to leave for church, and Sam jukes over to his closet for what I presume is going to be a tie - while he's only 10 years old, he's started to have a fascination with wearing "the noose". At any rate, as he comes around the corner I see him shrugging on the matching black suit jacket, no tie. This prompted a bit of an argument as Sam REALLY wanted to wear the jacket - crazy kid, it's 105 degrees outside. I finally "won" the argument with this little gem: "Sam, you can't wear a suit without a tie to church. It's either what you're wearing now - no jacket, no tie - or you have to wear a tie if you're going to wear the jacket. If you were going to go out and hit a couple of night clubs, wearing the jacket without the tie would be fine."

Fast forward to our drive home from church:

Dad: "What did you learn about in Primary today?"

Sam: "We learned about the afterlife."

Dad: "So tell me about the afterlife."

Sam: "In the afterlife, cheetahs and lambs will hang out and run around together."

Dad: "I think you mean that the lamb and the lion will lie down together - it's a prophecy from the book of Isaiah."

Sam: "No. The lions will be someplace else eating straw. And guess what: in the afterlife, a kid will be able to put his hand 'up in' a serpent and not get hurt."

Dad: "I think you mean that a child will be able to place his hand in a snake's den and not be bitten."

The son's patience is wearing thin at this point with the father's complete lack of understanding of all things Biblical.

Sam: "No, I mean a kid will be able to put his hand 'up in' a serpent."

Dad: "'Up in'? What exactly do you mean by 'up in'?"

Sam: "The kid will be able to stick his hand up a snake's butt and not get hurt."

My thought, while making sure I don't crash my car, was I'm not too sure the snake would agree with that.


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Theresa said...

Ha ha ha. That Sam.

Fostervision said...

for the love... I almost pee'd a little, because I could totally HEAR you two having this conversation in my head!!!!

Afton said...

God bless those primary teachers! I see a future for your son in snake proctology.

Just last night I was reading my boys a book and it mentioned a dog in heat. I asked them if they knew what that was. My 8 year old said, "that means the dog is going to get married." I did not correct him.