Perhaps it’s a universal thing, but I know it’s a disease acutely thrust upon us here in the United States: people backing into parking spaces. I call it a disease because its effects are felt by those in the vicinity of the carriers of this pathogen - the carriers are seemingly immune to the stupidity of their actions and go about afflicting all around them without a care in the world.
I’ve yet to see someone back into a parking space because they are going to be loading something into the back of their vehicle, which would make absolutely perfect sense so one wouldn’t have to carry something as far. Often, it’s a large truck that I see being backed into a space, and those who see no problem with this explain to me that they back in so that when they get ready to leave, they reduce the possibility of hitting a pedestrian or another vehicle. Okay, but doesn’t the SAME possibility exist WHEN BACKING INTO THE SPACE?!!!!!! Your argument is without merit, people.
Tonight, I was pulling into the parking lot at a local church to attend a wedding reception when I was halted in my progress by some chucklenuts not just backing into a space but requiring an 8-point turn to get it just right FOR HIS FORD FOCUS! Curious, rather than leaving my vehicle in the traffic lane of the parking lot and going over and kicking the driver squarely in the testicles, I paused to see who was this person. It wasn’t Batman, a police officer or firefighter, an OB/GYN on call, or the guy who fixes the Coke dispensers at all the local Circle Ks - people who would clearly need to have their vehicles at the ready in case they got called out to an emergency - just a dude wearing an ill-fitted suit, white shirt, ugly tie, and shoes that hadn’t seen a buff brush or polish in the last three presidential administrations. Why? Why did he feel it important to back his sub-compact car into the parking space at a wedding reception?
I could think of a handful of justifiable reasons, actually: he would be loading something into the trunk, which is the size of a carry-on suitcase (but this was near the beginning of the reception, and he didn’t pop his trunk when he got out, so we’re ruling that out); he was delivering the bride and groom’s vehicle that would carry them off to their honeymoon (but the car wasn’t decorated AND it was a beat up Ford Focus that I’m about 99% positive the groom wouldn’t be caught dead driving). Using Occam’s Razor, after eliminating all other possibilities, I could only come up with one of two reasons: (1) the driver is an escaped mental patient, or (2) the driver is so self-centered to believe everyone SHOULD wait for him and his poor driving skills to park his car. You really don’t want to consider reason 2 because you want to believe people can’t be that oblivious to others around them, but I couldn’t really go with reason 1 because there aren’t any mental hospitals nearby. Perhaps he just hasn’t been committed to one yet? Hmmmm.