The Greene Flu: it Hits Once a Year

Let me start with a piece of invaluable information for men everywhere – especially those who are married: you can safely and effectively sleep on a mattress – wait for it – WITHOUT a mattress pad! How, you ask, was I able to convince Erin to spit in the face of generations of slumber-related tradition? Was I smoking something that gave me such courage? Even if I were higher than the combined buzz the crowd feels at a Lollapalooza concert, I would never take that walk on the wild side. Our washing machine broke down in the middle of a cycle with all our bed clothes completely soaked; we had to sleep on our mattress for the night without a pad. That said, you can look at this annual missive in the same way I’ve presented this phenomenon concerning a mattress pad: it’s certainly not necessary, but my wife believes it is.

In the early part of September, when the rest of the country was welcoming the cooler days of the coming fall, we here in Arizona were still sweating like a fat guy on weigh-in day. However, we found cool respite in a hospital room where we got to meet the newest member of the family: Beau Taylor Greene. I believe more photos were taken of Beau in a 20-minute period than we have of both Jack and Sam combined from birth to age 18. He was nonplussed by the whole affair: in almost all of the photos, his eyes are closed, and he’s snoozing. If Beau were keeping a journal, it would probably read: “Day 1: Tired from the move.” (Credit to Steven Wright.) In the three months since he was born, I don’t believe he’s worn the same outfit twice – sort of like Vanna White – and he certainly hasn’t worn the same diaper for more than a few hours, tops. His two furry brothers, Hank and Bruce, went from sleeping in Jack and Kali’s bedroom and having run of the house to being banished to their kennels faster than Bruce can chew and fully digest Hank’s leather collar (and certainly faster than the time it took him to pass it).  Kali continues to influence and mold young minds in the classroom (not to worry, she washes her hands), and Jack has recently gone from a 90-minute commute each way to 20 minutes, as he’s been pulled into the office to become an estimator.  How hard can that job be?  It’s fairly easy to estimate that 100% of buildings humans occupy are going to want/need electricity. 

 

As the clock ticks down to the last days of 2024, Sam finds himself finishing up his second to last semester for his undergrad work.  For those of you who haven’t seen him in a while, let me assure you that he’s still tall – in case you were wondering.  This summer, he came back to Phoenix to complete an internship with a company called Microchip Technology, and I believe the record-breaking temperatures served only to melt any shred of a desire he had left of moving back to Arizona when he graduates.  He’s currently networking with folks to get himself ahead of the hiring curve before next semester ends, so if you hear of anyone who is looking for a tall Computer Engineer who lives on pizza and drives a Honda Odyssey, hit him up – I would imagine he’d be pretty flexible on the Honda Odyssey and even his height if the right opportunity came along, but giving up pizza is probably a deal breaker, just so you know.  

 

Just a few days ago, we were able to get a collar for Phoebe that emits a less-than-dulcet tone and then vibrates when she barks.  So far, it’s worked very well with the barking almost nonexistent, and she’s far less of a crackhead psycho than usual – since she is a Chihuahua/Dachshund (yes, a Chiweinie), she still has her manic episodes of chasing flying insects and birds and running laps around our backyard.  In the northeast corner of our yard is a spot of pea gravel, so it’s fun to watch her make that turn at speed and fishtail like she’s in one of the Fast & Furious movies.  

Both Erin and I have jumped into grandparenthood with both feet and find it quite enjoyable.  I’m curious what names we’ll get when Beau starts talking.  When Jack was a wee one, he called Erin’s mom Framma and Erin’s dad Papa.  Honestly, I’ll take whatever Beau decides to dish out in the name department just as long as he doesn’t follow in Jack’s footsteps and kick my mom in the shins (just as Jack had done to my dad’s mom when she told him he couldn’t get a treat at the grocery store).  That about raps up 2024 for the Greenes.  I hope this year’s ramblings were seen more as an unnecessary thing like a mattress pad and less like a kick in the shins.

God is Not Angry

When Christ appeared to the people living here on the American continent after his death and resurrection, knowing that He would be spending a relatively short period of time with them, He likely chose with meticulous care what He would share with them. During His visits, He chose to repeat the words contained in Isaiah 54 (found in 3 Nephi 22), and whatever His specific reasons were (I will never pretend to think with the mind of God), I am grateful He did. In the seventh and eighth verses, we read:

For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer.

Having been born into a family who were members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I attended Sacrament meeting, Sunday School, Primary, Seminary, and Young Men’s activities regularly - you might even say religiously. Whenever I applied myself and didn’t give in to my adolescent, prepubescent, and teenage tendencies to do anything and everything within my power to divert myself and others around me, I was fortunate to have some wonderful teachers who presented lessons I can still remember these many years later. Among those teachers, of course, were both of my parents who set an unwavering example of dedication to their covenants as disciples of Christ. It would be fair to say I was raised in a home and an environment that seemed like it came right out of a Norman Rockwell painting (or whatever the “Mormon” equivalent of that would be). Before I go on, let me assure you I’m not setting you up for a twist a la “appearances can be deceiving” and lay out a life of criminality and dark shadows. 

While I had more than my fair share of teachers over the years who taught the gospel rather than their personal interpretations of the stories and doctrines we were studying, I developed my own perception of my Heavenly Father through those lessons: a God who saw things in a very black-and-white manner who was just waiting for me to step out of line one too many times so He could smite me. My perception of how I would obtain admittance into “heaven” was equally skewed: everything I did was being written down in a book out of which I would one day be judged in the hopes that I had enough “good” marks to put me over the edge. While I had these views, I did feel that I was loved by my Heavenly Father but in a rather stern manner . . . that I would one day learn to enjoy and respect. 

Fast forward to when I first became a father: over the next almost 30 years, my perceptions and views of Heavenly Father and the life hereafter have significantly changed and have been a profound source of joy and peace for me. To wit, I have come to see God truly as a Father; and being a father myself, I have been fortunate to see life akin to seeing it through His eyes to a degree. Just as I would never be happy being at odds with my sons or considering the prospect that if they don’t do as I say, they won’t be able to live with me for eternity, I have come to believe - and rejoice in doing so - that Our Father does not find satisfaction in distancing Himself from us. 

Jesus’ inclusion of those particular words of Isaiah, to me, are comforting. As He says, “For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee,” I am reminded that this is part of God’s Plan of Salvation - His Plan of Happiness for us - that we are to be apart from Him for a relatively short period of time, but we will be showered with mercies while we are alone. Those words DEFINITELY describe a Father who is actively watching over us, not to smite us when we’ve stepped out of line one too many times, but to bless us by providing what we need to face our trials and tribulations here on earth. 

Further, He reads, “In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment.”  With my perception of God altered for the better over the last three decades, I now have trouble picturing Our Father being “mad” at us for being human.  Instead, I see the beauty of this passage: no matter how upsetting our behavior may be, He won’t show us an “angry” face - He doesn’t want to discourage us from repenting - and will shower us with mercies as we try to improve. 

Though I’ve had some reversals in my life, and I’ve experienced my share of challenges, leaving me bruised and perhaps a little scarred, I readily acknowledge that I have not had to face and live what so many others are forced to manage, ranging from wars, famine, drugs, abuse, etc. That said, though, I know what I say is true, not just for me in my relatively soft life but for every single person on this earth - for we are ALL the children of Our Heavenly Father. May each of us seek to know Him and feel His unconditional love that He has for one and all!